ive said it before - "i always find myself coming back here."
its like talking to an old friend who knows everything about me. no need to explain, no backstory needed. i just verbal diarrhea anything and everything thats on my mind. i always feel like i need to share it, but other places just didnt feel right. but this, this feels like home.
lots of things happened between the last time i was here and now.
most recently, really trying situations.
i felt it coming. my body was getting tired and my mind not too far behind. i didnt feel present. i didnt feel awake. it was routine that i had little control over and had no joy. but i ignored it.
i shouldve known better.
i had the most intense dream about my immediate and extended family last night - the longest and most detailed ive had in a while. when i shared this with my family, my dad said, "you know, that tells me that the time you gave yourself yesterday allowed your brain to reset. thats good."
i dont know if thats accurate but just hearing that made me feel better.
today, i feel like im in a much better place. i consciously made decisions today that made me feel like i was actively using my brain.
|trying to catch up to 100 days of SwiftUI today|
again, i dont know why im saying this out loud here. maybe its present me wanting to tell something to future me.
maybe its also a bit of past me trying to remind present me that everything is relative. what i feel now is temporary. there is more to it than right now. i may not FEEL like i can move away from this right now, but even the little things can help me shift.
i cant wait to let much older me read through all of this.
what are you like?
did you come back here because youre having a hard time too?
or are you so overwhelmed with happiness that you wanted to say it out loud?
i hope this helped you find what youre looking for.