cycles

i like to believe that most days, i'm strong.
i am able to let go and move on.
today, i wonder if i actually am.

maybe i'm not
maybe i'm lying to myself
maybe i just push things away
and choose to forget

what if i have no choice
what if i'm only able to push aside
only for it to come crashing back
when i'm not expecting it

one moment i'm disappointed
at how people can easily dismiss
the next i'm asking myself
is it ok for me to be so

and then it begins
doubt, worry, fear
why me, why not me
"what is wrong with me"

i wish i knew the answers
i wish i knew how to move on
but really its just cycles

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