real

on my way to work this morning i was thinking about plastic surgery.
dont ask me why. my brain is a scary place and my thought process is something that sometimes even i cant understand.

no, im not entertaining the thought of getting plastic surgery.

i was just thinking.
alright, lets say i get some thing(s) done to my face. nose job, cheek implants, brow lift, botox, collagen injections, what have you. basically, i wont look like myself anymore - ill be a "better" version of myself. (let me underline that im using the word "better" very loosely here)
so i go out into the world, "better" version of my face first.
i meet someone, we like each other, we date, we get married, and then we have children.
what now? obviously the child will not look anything like me, what with all the work done on my face.
best-case scenario: the child (hopefully male) will look like the father.
worst-case scenario: the child takes after me (and only me) and will not look anything like either parents. everyone will be thinking, "what up with that?!", oblivious (or not and just not saying anything) to the fact that my face is one big "thank you, doctor."
even worse than the worst-case scenario (which negates its "worst" status but thats besides the point): take the worst-case scenario and add on the assumption that i didnt tell my husband about the renovation my face underwent prior to us meeting. hes gonna start thinking that the kid isnt his. then ill have to prove that the kid is indeed his, meaning i have to reveal my secret. then he will doubt my honesty about other things in our relationship (when maybe really what hes thinking is that hes so disgusted by what i actually look like) and then finally break it off with me because he "doesnt know me at all."

having said all that, im not completely against plastic surgery. some procedures are completely necessary to make peoples lives better. i cant think of or list them all. id just say if its strictly for health (NOT vanity) reasons, im all for it.

theres other things you can do to fuel your vanity. buy make-up (at least the real you will still be under there somewhere), get a haircut, dye your hair, buy a wig, get coloured contacts, buy new clothes. something, anything that is not permanent.
OR you can go about it another way. how about forgetting about what everyone else says and what everyone elses standard of beauty is? love yourself for who you are. cause if you dont, who will?

yes i admit, people who alter their appearance look "better", different, exotic. but theres just something about an all natural person who owns their looks.

i took this photo just now and looking at it i wish my forehead isnt as wide, my hair is longer, my nose is less flat and round, my hair has more body, my face is less round, my skin is less oily, my complexion is more even, my cheeks are less chubby, my eyes are more even,
and a whole lot of other things this photo isnt showing
but this is me.
no make-up, no contacts, no hair products, no fancy clothes, no fancy camera, no tricky angles, no filters.
this is who i am and
"id rather be hated who who i am than be loved for who i am not"
- kurt cobain

wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are
- kurt cobain

manual

i havent played with my slr in a while. even when i do, i almost always use auto-focus because i just cant be bothered to do it manually.
a couple of days ago i was itching to use my camera so i tried to practice my manual-focus skills.












as the photos show, i wasnt exactly in an adventurous mode. it was really hot that day and very few people were brave enough to step out into the heat. so i settled for things i could focus on in my room. i didnt take much cause i have a really short attention span and i get bored of things pretty quickly. 

oh well, i did learn that i didnt have to shut my left eye to focus manually. this is good news to me cause i get really tired of shutting my left eye just to look through the viewfinder. also, this is handy when im wearing eye make-up. almost all the time, i have to check my left eye make-up to see if ive smeared it from squeezing my eye shut to look through the viewfinder. 

anyway, thats it for now. hopefully, ill have time to post more entries.

film

woohoo 2nd post of the month!

i finally remembered to bring my roll of film for processing.

this is the first photo in the roll
felt like ages ago.
pier 39
san francisco, california
lovely photo of tourists -_-
i think this was taken before a seagull pooped on us D:
it was a lovely day
i remember getting a tan :D
golden gate bridge
empty bus
i like this shot. my brother took it.
thats all for now :)

07

im still alive!

just been busy this summer. which can be good and bad at the same time.

summer will be short and sweet so im trying to make the best of it. but sometimes i catch myself california hungover or daydreaming of september ( more on that later ).

some plans im trying to execute this summer:
- visit the AGO while the Abstract Expressionist New York Exhibition is still in town
- white-water rafting. and none of that family adventure version. i want the high adventure!
- use up my 3 vacation days some how
- hang out with family/friends whenever i can
- tutor cheerfully so my students dont feel bummed that theyre being tutored over the summer
- get a tan ( i think i can check this one off )
- i SO want a hammock (for the backyard) or a beanbag (for my room)!

huh. i guess i dont have BIG plans this summer. i dont really mind. maybe cause i know i have a couple of things lined up AFTER summer?

anyway, ill try update more often. ( dont hold your breath though )

if you have instagram, come find me!
0kae


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